KLM Counselling Services
KLM COUNSELLING SERVICES IS A FINALIST FOR THE
2011 BUSINESS EXCELLENCE AWARDS!
A GALA IS BEING HELD AT TRENTWINDS IN PETERBOROUGH ON
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 18, 2011 @ 5:30PM
WHEN THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED!
MANY THANKS FOR THE WONDERFUL COMMUNITY SUPPORT!
Teach kindness…share feelings…make loving safe…dress up for tea…have peanut butter picnics…don’t yell…
Tango in the moonlight…wish upon a star…surprise them with ice cream…listen…plant jellybeans in your garden…sing Jesus Loves Me out loud with joy…
Plan a trip to the moon…cry during movies…encourage Silly…carry lots of Band-Aids…take daffodils to Grandma…laugh at yourself…share a wishbone…
Be kind to one another…make Happy-Face pancakes…celebrate everything…ride bicycles into the sunset…feel their aches…celebrate their joys…
Say yes as often as possible…whisper secrets…handle with TLC…teach them to reach for stars…love them…learn from them…don’t take them for granted…be there…be there…be there…
Kelley has received Certificates in:
Level 1 Threat Assessment Protocol
and
Facilitating Restorative Justice Conferences
Grief… a small word that packs a lot of emotion.
What do you do with your grief? Do you deal with it head on? Do you pretend it never happened? What do you do to help yourself work through the sadness, the anger, the guilt?
I find that when my clients are aware of the 7 Stages of Grief, they begin to understand that Grief is a process and learn to be patient with themselves.
7 Stages of Grief…
1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.
2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.
You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn’t do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.
3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.
You may rail against fate, questioning “Why me?” You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair (“I will never drink again if you just bring him back”)
4. “DEPRESSION”, REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be “talked out of it” by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.
During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.
5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your “depression” begins to lift slightly.
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.
7 stages of grief…
You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living.
Breathe! Just breathe!
Until next time,
Dream ~ Believe ~ Achieve
Kelley
